You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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