i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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