Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
