By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
