yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
