You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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