Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
