omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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