You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
they need to just BURY HIM!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
