Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
