We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
