You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
