I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
