We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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