I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
