Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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