"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
