I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
