I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
