She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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