I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
