I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
