I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
