When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
