Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
