I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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