I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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