Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
