I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
