Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
