U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
