That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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