so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
