I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
