well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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