im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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