If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
