We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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