i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
