Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
my poor anus
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
