OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
