yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
