No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Holy sore nipples Batman
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
