Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
