Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
