bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
