How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
