so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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