Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
