you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
