Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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