forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
